A discussion of DASV and how it affects people of all genders and sexualities and whether there remains a “gendered nature to violence” in terms of victims, survivors, or perpetrators. (Norwich Millennium Library, 6-7pm, 4 April)
Alternatively, should we move to a support model that is gender free and simply tries to stop the violence, the sexual assaults, provide refuge to those fleeing DASV, irrespective of gender.
Is it even possible to be gender (or indeed sexuality) blind in the way we treat this issue?
DASV: “any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are, or have been, intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality”
On the day of the worldwide release of Cassie Jaye‘s latest documentary “The Red Pill”, The Gender & Sexuality discussion group will be meeting and discussing the film and the issues raise around domestic violence and abuse, parental custody, prison sentencing, mental health, workplace injuries, and patriarchy v gynocentrism, and whether these are gendered issues and outcomes and if so how are feminism(s) and MRM(s) dealing with them, and if they are, are they doing so equally?
The Red Pill Film Trailer
Extended Sneak Preview
Q&A Movie Discussion Panel
On the 18th (and 19th) of January this year the film was screened here in Norwich. The screening was followed by a Q&A with a few special guests – including the filmmaker herself, on her first visit to the UK. Video of the panel Q&A with Erin Pizzey, Cassie Jaye, Paul Elam, Dr Randomercam, Mike Buchanan, Lucinda Bray, Jess Austin, Katy Jon Went:
And a further between showings and panels discussion among: Erin Pizzey, Cassie Jaye, Paul Elam, Dr Randomercam, Mike Buchanan & Nikita Coulombe:
Watching the film and participating in the discussion panel twice made me realise that the battle of the sexes is still alive and well, but at times and in certain contexts it seems the social war between men and women has shifted its balance in favour of women. The intersectional feminist in me would rage, that no, the patriarchy (if it can still be said to exist – the gender neutral kyriarchy may now be a better word) still discriminates against women.
The age of Feminism and Men’s Rights Movements has marked some gains in equality but also some marked paradigm shifts in the experience of that equality.
Health and life expectancy favours women over men. One could argue that men live more dangerous lives, workplace injury, war, gang violence etc, women had maternity death risks, domestic violence etc, but for the last 200 years they’ve lived longer and healthier than men, and that gap is only now beginning to narrow.
Hearing how men’s experience can be just as hellish as women’s in different ways, more combat and work stress, parental rights deprivations etc than overt sexism or sexual assault, but degrees and differences of privilege, patriarchy and matriarchy or gynocentrism.
Domestic abuse, sexual violence, and coercive control can affect 1-in-5 men (UK, 1-in-4 USA) just as it does with 1-in-3 women. And yet, count up how many men’s DASV shelters there are? You’ll only need the fingers on one hand.
Gender roles, “the boy code”, “man up”, “be a man”, “you’re the provider/protector”, “boys don’t cry/blab”, all serve to trap men, discourage them from seeking help in relationships, around mental health – and when they do attempt suicide, they are invariably more lethal in taking their own lives.
The Red Pill may be hard to swallow but it needs to be seen and engaged with, and as Paul Elam said, some men need to be “heard, even in their anger”. What was less palatable from some voices was the feeling and some campaigning that women’s services and funding should be reduced in order to fund men’s services. Whilst men’s DASV support, and numerous other services absolutely need funding, it should be in addition to the already cut back women’s services. It should not be a battle of the sexes or the services, or the public/charity sector money pot, but the putting of people before profit, health before gender, ending violence and abuse before stereotyping one sex as the aggressor and the other as victim.